I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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