You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
