Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
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