you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I have post one night stand depression
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
