the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
that's an acceptable place to lick
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize