You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
