I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
