3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
