He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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