so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
