Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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