I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
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I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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