I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
