possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
