I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize