i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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