Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
