I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
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