drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
