to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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