How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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