Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
