I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
