You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
