yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
