i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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