woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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