Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
