dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
