oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
