So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
