You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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