Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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