I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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