I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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