i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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