party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
