So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Let's paint friendship bongs
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
