Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize