youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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