I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
