my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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