I forgot how hot balto sounded
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
