my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
