I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
