Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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