physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
