I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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