The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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