no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I just found a bag of teeth...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
