Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
