But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
