I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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