let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
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she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
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i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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