Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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