Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
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